alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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