im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
