I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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