u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
