it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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