He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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