You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
