This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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