the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
