this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
