No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
