At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize