I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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