Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
