What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
