I'm really into asian looking animals
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
