Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
