my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
