I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
