yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
