Where did you get a picture of my penis
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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