oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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