I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize