Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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