I just cut my nipple shaving
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
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