dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
