just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just cropdusted the office
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Randomize
