pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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