and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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