I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize