no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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