ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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