he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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