i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
