she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
