Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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