Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
