I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Acid is not a monday night drug
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
