Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
