i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
