In the future we'll all be gay
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
