Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
