You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
