So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm both gender and math confused
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