Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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