I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
