You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
