Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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