dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
