The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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