Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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