just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
