I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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