No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
