you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
