well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
