so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
