My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize