he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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