Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
