i barfeds in our rink
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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