My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
