Fuck appropriateness.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
