just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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