i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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