Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dick very happy bro
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
