I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My vagina just clenched in fear
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