used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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