I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
