everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm really busy with my period
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