We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
