thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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