So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
