they need to just BURY HIM!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Can I color on your dick again?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize